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Top 5 Places in Eugene to Cry in Public, Ranked

Did it all start on November 8? Or was it January 20?

Whenever it happened, there have been gallons of tears flowing around town the last couple months. Here are some of the best places we know of to weep in public:

 

By Lauram12345 - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, http://bit.ly/2nlKpxy

1

 Skinner’s Butte

Eugene founder Eugene Skinner’s homestead was here, and today you can enjoy sweeping views of the Eugene cityscape and the southern Willamette Valley. While on Skinner’s Butte think on how your dad never, ever took you hiking. Not once. Have a nice cry.

 

2

 UO Campus

The University of Oregon Campus is home to some of Eugene’s oldest and nicest architecture. Which is good, because most of the city’s newest architecture is cheap student housing that looks like it was designed in a failed Communist state in eastern Europe. While touring, remember there’s only one way to survive college, and it rhymes with “sighing.”

 

3

 Hult Center Lobby

The Hult Center is a monument to Eugene’s commitment to the performing arts. While in town, be sure to stop by, because when you’re throwing a huge fit, you require good acoustics. And a really big audience.

 

By User:Cacophony - Own work, CC BY 2.5, http://bit.ly/2n2KvYw

4

 Pre’s Trail

Runner Steve Prefontaine is like the James Dean of track and field and a patron saint of our fair city because he crashed his car and died. We even built running trails in his honor. World-famous running trails filled with world-famous runners? What better reason could there be to go scarlet red in your cry zones?

 

5

 5th Street Market

With great shopping, restaurants and romantic atmosphere, the 5th Street Public Market is a grand place to take a date, except if you had even the possibility of a date, you wouldn’t be reading “Top Places to Cry in Public in Eugene.” Would you? 

 

The Satire Issue: Looking for humor in all the wrong places. April 1, 2017.