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My teenage daughter just came out to us as gay. We told her we love her and support her. As a heterosexual, cisgender mother, how do I make sure she gets good advice about sex? I don’t want her learning from other kids or porn. Do you know of any good, sex-positive advice books for lesbian teens?

My Inspiring Daughter Deserves Lesbian Education


The solar eclipse in August was a rare and spectacular event, predicted with the same accuracy as the timing of the equinox this month (1:02 pm, Sept. 22). A hurricane like Harvey is a rare and spectacular event but predicting hurricanes is much more complicated than calculating the timing of celestial events. It is remarkable that people who accept the prediction of celestial events even when they cannot fathom the math behind them are willing to challenge scientists who predict climate change.

I’m a lady considering taking on a foot fetishist as a slave. He would do chores around my house, including cleaning and laundry, and give foot rubs and pedicures in exchange for getting to worship and jack off to my model-perfect feet when I’ve decided he’s earned it. Am I morally obligated to tell my roommates? Technically the guy would be in their common space too. I will fully vet him with references and meet him in a neutral location at least once — and anything else you might suggest I do for security’s sake.

I like to float rivers. That’s a huge understatement. There is almost nothing that I would rather be doing than floating on a river. 

My brother just broke up with his girlfriend for the second time in eight months. They had been together for two and a half years, and she became pretty discontent when she finished college and my brother entered law school because all his time and attention weren’t revolving around her. In January, she staged this bizarre, soap-opera-esque situation to make my brother jealous, and then broke up with him when he reacted predictably.

Everyone knows the difference between a horse race and a political race, right? In a horse race, the whole horse races!

A few years ago, my dad was busted by the cops for using an online forum to solicit escorts. The arrest and infidelity destroyed his marriage to my mom. My brother and I were in our mid-teens at the time and were angry enough with him that we asked him to not seek custody. He obliged, and neither of us has seen him since. I miss my dad—or the man I thought he was. I know part of my anger comes from how badly he hurt my mom. As I mature, I’m wondering if I was unfair to my dad by cutting off all contact. I don’t think sex work is immoral.

“It’s all about attention. We all want to be heard.” That was my friend Tuuli Lehtisalo’s response to how to best serve students. It’s still resonating within me a month after visiting with this dedicated teacher in Finland.

I’ve been wondering: Since there are lesbians out there who occasionally crave cock, does the reverse also happen? Are there gay men who occassionally crave pussy?

This Possible?

There are gay men who watch football—hell, I have it on good authority that some gay men play football, TP. So anything is possible. (Also, there are lots of lesbian-identified bisexual women out there, a smaller number of gay-identified bisexual men, and a tiny handful of bisexual-identified football fans.)

 

Oregonians are fond of saying, “If you don’t like the Oregon weather, wait five minutes,” describing the inconsistencies of the climate in the Pacific Northwest. This mirrors the political climate for trans/gender diverse people in 2017. 

My boyfriend of eight months, K, and I are polyamorous. We started the relationship on that foot, and for a while I was the partner he spent the most time with. There have been ups and downs, but overall our relationship is solid and loving. However, recently we both started dating the same woman, L, and they have been spending more time together than with me due to my work schedule.

August is a month of tension between the urge to backpack into the high Cascades and the density of mosquitoes near the best campsites around lakes or wet meadows. In most years, the fierceness of mosquito attacks tends to diminish toward the end of August. Mosquitoes proliferate rapidly in snowmelt ponds. The sooner the snow disappears, the sooner mosquito-breeding season diminishes. Our dramatic recovery from recent years of drought and low snow pack was predicted to stimulate a massive resurgence of mosquitoes this summer.

Many of the relatives, friends and colleagues gathered at Tom Giesen’s memorial on a sunny April afternoon at McKenzie River Eco-Lodge had been joggers, cyclists and hikers on the treks Tom led for decades. The adventures they described clearly tested their fortitude and often their patience but ultimately gained their admiration and respect for a man who pushed himself even harder than he did them. Lean as an alley cat, he never seemed to sit still long enough for fat to catch up with him — or complacency either.

My wife has been seriously ill for three years, and I have been her sole caregiver. The doctors here weren’t getting the job done, so we made the difficult decision for her to move 2,000 miles away to start over and be near her family. Our sex life has been nonexistent since she became ill. She offered me a “hall pass” with two rules: (1) It couldn’t be anyone I worked with and (2) she didn’t want to know about it. She offered multiple times, but I was taking care of her 24/7 and never used it. I started to consider using it after she moved.

 The R-G editorial board has become an apologist for the Oregon Republican Party. Its viewpoints simply mirror recent press releases from the Republican House and Senate caucuses. So much for its stated policy of “impartial publication … candid but fair and helpful … a citizen of its community.”

I’m a reader in Kansas with two teenage daughters, 16 and 18. My girls recently met a boy where they work and both took an interest in him. The 18-year-old was devastated that he was more interested in her younger sister. I spoke to the 16-year-old about it, which is when I found out this boy is going to be a sophomore in college. The fact that he’s interested in a 16-year-old is a red flag. I asked the 16-year-old to keep her distance. She agreed, but I saw a shirtless photo he sent her.

Why write a column about economic development? Lots of people just yawn when they hear the term. But, as they say, write about what you know, and I do know economic development. I did it for a living. And, besides, I actually find it interesting.

I’m a 35-year-old straight woman, recently married, and everything is great. But I have been having problems reaching orgasm. When we first started dating, I had them all the time. It was only after we got engaged that it became an issue. He is not doing anything differently, and he works hard to give me oral pleasure, last longer, and include more foreplay. He’s sexy and attractive and has a great working penis. I am very aroused when we have sex, but I just can’t climax. It is weird because I used to very easily, and still can when I masturbate.

As the Oregon Legislature wound down last week, I called a good friend of 20-plus years, Bob Livingston, a lobbyist and president of the Oregon State Firefighters Council. While we were often at odds during the PERS (Public Employees Retirement System) reform fight in 2003, we’ve maintained a strong trusting relationship over the years. 

I’m a gay medical student with a medical fetish, and I can’t even open up to my therapist about this. I think the fetish started when I was young; I was once in the hospital and given a suppository for a fever. Then one time I was given a Fleet enema. I don’t think the “butt stuff” turned me gay, but my fetish may stem from the aspect of being controlled. I grew up in a very conservative religious household. I’ve never been in a relationship, and I don’t know that I could have one while hiding what turns me on.

For the first time in several years our reservoirs are full. This is good news all around because it means that there has been a good rain year with higher than average snowpack in the mountains. Euphemistically called “lakes” by the Army Corps of Engineers, I always add “reservoir” to the names, as in “Dexter Lake Reservoir.”  Reservoirs are not the same water bodies as natural lakes and have distinctive ecological relationships worth remembering. Reservoirs built for flood control in the Willamette River watershed are subject to dramatic changes in water level every year.

I know firsthand that running for political office costs money. As a candidate for House District 14 in West Eugene and Junction City, I made a lot of fundraising calls. I didn’t (and still don’t) mind raising money and I think I’m not too bad at it. Every candidate needs resources to explain to voters about why they’re running to serve and what ideas they have for fixing the biggest problems facing your community. 

I’m a 29-year-old straight woman facing a dilemma. I dated this guy about a year ago, and in many ways he was exactly the guy I was looking for. The main hitch was sexual. Our sex was good, but he had a fetish where he wanted me to sleep with other guys. Basically, he gets off on a girl being a “slut.” He was also into threesomes or swapping with another couple. I experimented with all of that for a few months, and in a way I had fun with it, but I finally realized that this lifestyle is not for me. I want a more traditional, monogamous relationship. I broke it off with him.

Everyone in Oregon has a favorite Uncle Phil. Certainly Phil Knight fills that roll for many Duck fans. But even though I was once Senator Duck with the University of Oregon in my district, I’ve always had an uneasy relationship with that Uncle Phil.