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Economic injustice permeates our local, state and national tax policies. The proposed city service fee reinforces and expands what is already a grossly unfair tax burden for low and middle-income wage earners. Not only is Ballot Measure 20-211 unfair, but it fails to deliver on the promise to fund essential services beyond the 2014 budget, and it’s permanent. 

Reason #37 that may cause the proposed new tax measure from the city to fail: The city is asking for money too soon after giving a huge tax break to a developer to plop Animal House Plus downtown.

I am uncircumcised, and the opening at the end of my foreskin is not large enough for the head of my penis to pass through. This means my foreskin doesn’t pull back when I get an erection. The internet says this is a condition called “phimosis,” and a lot of medical websites recommend circumcision. I’m not super-excited by that idea. I don’t have any pain or difficulty with sex or urination, and I’ve never had any health problems related to being uncircumcised. The foreskin isn’t stuck or fused to the glans — the hole is just small.

In mid-March, forced by a serious bout of pneumonia to spend quiet time at home, I was able to more closely examine budget and other documents and to reassess my advocacy for the proposed city service fee. After much calm reflection, I concluded that I personally, and council majority collectively, had made a mistake in focusing solely on the “revenue-raising” option as the preferred strategy to address the projected General Fund imbalance.

As much as I dislike people who talk about themselves in the third person, I am beginning to seriously distrust the author of this column. Last week I bamboozled you into thinking that damn PERS bill, SB 822, went down the Ways and Means rabbit hole, never to be seen again until the back room budget deal at the end of Hot Air Society session in July. For any of my three loyal readers who actually thought I knew what I was talking about — think again. I was totally wrong.

The Register-Guard hounds Rob Handy regularly on its editorial pages even after the poor man lost his seat on the Board of Commissioners. My advice to Mr. Handy: If you want ever to have peace in your life again, give in and renew your subscription. 

I’m a gay man who has been seeing a devout Christian gay guy for one year. We have a great relationship. We have many of the same interests and respect each other’s feelings and beliefs. However, I am a Catholic who is not that religious, and he is an Orthodox Christian.

I applaud Eugene Weekly for writing about the Israel-Palestine subject [Slant, 4/4]. I believe this subject is the core foreign policy issue that confronts the U.S. today. Therefore, I hope you will continue to publish relevant articles so that the public can stay informed.

April is the month we’ll be saying goodbye to most of the wintering waterfowl. I am going to miss the buffleheads. The resident early birds have already started nesting while many migrants are just arriving. They will be checking to see if the old nest is suitable for refurbishing for another season. If it is, they will soon start singing songs of domestic joy. The bushtit flocks don’t break up while nesting and feeding young. They do forage by themselves now, unaccompanied by their usual winter companions, juncoes and chickadees.

Community Mediation Services (CMS) of Eugene is pleased to announce the establishment of its new Restorative Peer Court (RPC) program.

The mood in Salem’s Hot Air Society took a turn for the worse this week as Democratic leaders opened up hearings last Tuesday on PERS (Public Employees Retirement System). I was hoping that Speaker Tina Kotek and Senate President Peter Courtney would form a special joint committee dedicated to PERS alone.

Lane County commissioners have fired their experienced and highly regarded, fair manager for no apparent reason and with no explanation? I thought only Donald Trump could do something like that.

I am trying to understand some sexual fantasies I have. They involve having sex with a woman who has a penis. Sometimes I fantasize that my wife grew a penis. The fantasies started when we first tried pegging a few years ago. We recently had our first child and can no longer find the time for such kinky sex. These transsexual fantasies have caused a large strain in our relationship, and I don’t understand why I am having them or what I should do about them.

As Spring arrives, the 77th Hot Air Society is devolving into Salem’s version of our national political gridlock. Republicans are showboating with an unacceptable PERS reform proposal and refusing to negotiate over new taxes. Meanwhile, Democrats are hiding the ball on specific PERS reforms, quite understandably, until the Ways and Means picture is clearer.

My brother is 22 years old and mentally ill with social anxiety on the scale of agoraphobia (officially diagnosed). He’s made significant progress in the past few years, but he’s stuck on the fact that he’s a virgin and is convinced that he’s not going to make any real social progress until that’s no longer a fact.

The opportunity to study abroad comes once in a lifetime. It is an opportunity to learn about unfamiliar and unique cultures, and in doing so, gain perspective into one’s own culture.

Lane County has pulled out all the stops on promoting Goshen as an up and coming industrial job center for Lane County. But before we go ga-ga over Goshen I’d like Lane County to answer a few questions.

The other paper in town reported that the proponents of a county tax levy to run the jail said that the extra money would “possibly cut the number of early releases of jail inmates.” Well, that’s almost enough to make me possibly consider voting for the measure.

The last time you tried to explain why you support marriage equality, did you mention civil rights? Justice? Equal access to benefits? Did you call it “gay marriage?”

DEAR READERS: I’m off this week. To tide all of your hot and/or kinky and/or sore asses over, here’s a column I wrote 15 years ago. Some newer readers might’ve missed this column when it originally appeared — some of you who were still in grade school, diapers, or amniotic sacs back in 1998 — so I’m rerunning it now because I still get questions about “gerbiling” on a daily basis.  — Dan

 

When we did PERS reform in 2003, we didn’t attach it to the budget as severely as you’re seeing in this 2013 version of the Hot Air Society. It’s stunning to see both parties and two branches of state government simultaneously tying the funding of education, public safety and human services so tightly to one target.

I’m an actor in New York City. A lot of people think actors are whores, but last week I almost became one. I responded to a casting call for a film project called Sniff. The ad — on Playbill’s website — called for two male actors to film a short scene. The pay was $100 for a day’s work. I was e-mailed the scene to study. It starts with two male roommates chatting on a couch. The bigger, more muscular roommate confronts the smaller, scrawnier roommate about his obsession with socks.

Watching ducks on the Delta Ponds keeps me entertained. Shovelers continue their circle dances this month, the males trying to pair bond before heading north in April for nesting season. You still have time to experience this courtship ritual unless you choose the rare sunny morning when they line up on a log to bask in the warm rays.

A play celebrating the life of Paul Robeson March 8 and 10 at the Lane Community College main campus will benefit the LCC Black Student Union (BSU) scholarship fund. Dr. Stanley Coleman, a director and actor now on the faculty at LCC, plays Paul Robeson in the one-man Broadway play by Phillip Hays Dean.