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Savage Love

April 11, 2012 11:00 PM

My fiancé and I have been together for six years. We’re both 27. About a year ago, he admitted to me that he is bi—which I was surprised about. I told him that I was bi-curious. We have had talks about meeting with other couples. I am very insecure. I have been with very few men and no women (beyond kissing). Today, he told me that a few weeks ago he signed us up on a personals website and posted a picture of me naked from the waist down on the site. I was shocked and upset. I have NEVER posted nude pics of myself anywhere! I felt this was a violation of my privacy.

April 5, 2012 12:00 AM

I have an awesome relationship with an awesome guy. He loves me and takes care of me. I’m GGG and he’s vanilla. I only draw the line at poop, animals, and children. But he’s never asked me for anything other than vanilla sex. Which is why I don’t know what to do. I went downstairs late the other night, and he was sitting on the couch masturbating while stroking the cat, which was sitting on his chest. The cat was sitting ON him, Dan, WHILE he was yanking himself. I don’t know if he saw me. I went right back upstairs and went to bed. In the morning, he acted like nothing happened.

March 29, 2012 12:00 AM

I am the father of a recently out 18-year-old gay boy. Here’s the problem: My son is in a relationship with a 31-year-old guy. I’m not okay with that. Yes, my son is a legal adult at 18 and can make his own decisions, but he’s also still in high school. His mother argues that in order to be supportive, we can’t object to this relationship. I don’t think this is a gay versus straight objection. If I had an 18-year-old heterosexual daughter who was in a relationship with a 31-year-old man, I would have exactly the same concerns and objections.

March 22, 2012 12:00 AM

I was recently advised to begin reading your column by my therapist. I am a 21-year-old male and a senior at an Ivy League school. Despite my academic success, I’ve battled a lot of stuff in the past few years: anxiety, depression, substance abuse, and porn addiction. It’s quite a load of shit to try to wade through, but I honestly feel I’m getting better.

March 15, 2012 12:00 AM

Thank you for your advocacy of monogamishy. (Monogamishness?) When I fell in love with my gloriously kinky and GGG wife several years ago, we were honest about our sexual desires—vast and wide-ranging—and we negotiated an arrangement that works for us. We encourage each other’s outside crushes, and we both just want to be present while one of us is banging that outside crush. Your column gave us the tools we needed to talk with other potentially kinky folks. Thanks!

March 8, 2012 12:00 AM

I’m a gay man in my late 20s who has been trying to deal with an attraction to young boys since I hit puberty. I know that what I feel is wrong and wish to Christ that I could have a normally wired brain. I have never abused a child; I do not look at child pornography. But I need to speak to a therapist because I can’t get through this on my own. Bottom line is I’m afraid. Seriously afraid. I don’t know what my legal rights are and I don’t know how to go about getting more information without incriminating myself.

March 1, 2012 12:00 AM

I had a threesome with my husband and another woman because I am GGG and that’s always been a fantasy of his. I laid out my ground rules, and they were violated. (I said I was uncomfortable with his P in her V, and I ended up watching them fuck.) I didn’t stop it at the time because I didn’t want to ruin it for him. It’s been some time, and my heart is still broken. I was completely down with every other aspect of the threesome, but I feel like a line was crossed. Am I wrong to feel hurt?

Heartbroken

 

February 23, 2012 12:00 AM

I am a straight 24-year-old female who has known my fiancé since freshman year of college. He has a fetish where he likes to watch women use the bathroom. I knew this, having seen some of his porn early on, and I accepted it. We all have kinks. But while peeing in front of someone isn’t that big of a deal, shitting in front of someone is hard.

February 16, 2012 12:00 AM

I headed north last week to do Savage Love Live — a rapid-fire, slightly tipsy Q&A session — at the University of Alaska Anchorage. It was my third visit to UAA and it was a blast. All of the questions in this week’s column were submitted to me by UAA students and staffers.


Should I go ahead and divorce my fantastic wife of 23 years now because gay marriage is going to destroy it eventually anyway?  — Tony From Wasilla

February 9, 2012 12:00 AM

February 2, 2012 12:00 AM

My husband is a very kinky submissive man. When we were dating, I found out that he had been talking to multiple people online and that he had met up with a professional dom a couple of times. I felt betrayed that he had done this all behind my back, even though I had told him that I would be down with him seeing a dom. (I even offered to buy him a session for his birthday!)

January 26, 2012 12:00 AM

Have boyfriend. Several months. Love sex. First time we sixty-nine, I notice he has a little turtlehead sticking out. You get me? Second time, he has bits of toilet paper stuck in that area. CAN I ADDRESS THIS? And how do I do it without giving him a permanently flaccid penis? I love this man to pieces and know this is a humiliating topic. Please help!

Mired In The Mud

 

Got you. Wish didn’t. But did.

January 19, 2012 12:00 AM

My 13-year-old son came out to us this morning. He plans to tell his brothers in the next few days. We love and accept our son, and this news isn’t surprising (but when will the stereotypical neatness kick in?), but we do have some concerns. He has, apparently, already made the news public at school. Any pointers you can give? We want to make sure he knows that we love him and don’t care about his sexuality, while at the same time preparing him to deal with those people who do. Also, any advice you can give for when he starts dating would be appreciated.

January 12, 2012 12:00 AM

I am writing to thank you. I remember reading your definition of “santorum” — “the frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex” — when it first appeared. I remember thinking it was a cute way to make fun of a dickhead politician. I never thought it would go this far. But after Iowa, Rick Santorum is in the spotlight again. And so is that frothy mixture. And that’s fucking awesome.

Jeff In Wisconsin

 

January 5, 2012 12:00 AM