The Register-Guard‘s online edition is at this moment in time winning at headlines:

Man covered in marshmallow creme-like stuff arrested for vandalism at Voodoo Donuts

There are visions brought to mind by the words “covered in marshmallow creme-like stuff” that are not going away.

Sidenote: It’s Voodoo Doughnut not Donuts, but when you’re having fun with criminals covered in creme, typos happen, we get that.

On the chance the R-G makes the headline less fun for print, we’ve preserved the sordid pastry story below.

A man at a popular downtown donut shop found himself in a sticky situation early Sunday morning, literally covered in a “sticky white food substance” after being accused of painting the store with it.

Ean Mandrake Card, 20, had been banned from Voodoo Donuts, but Eugene police said that he returned around 6:45 a.m. Sunday to smear what appeared to be marshmallow creme on the store’s patio furniture and windows.

Eugene officers found Card on Oak Alley near East 11th Avenue a short time later, where he was covered in the white stuff, police said. Card was arrested and booked into the Lane County Jail on charges of third-degree criminal mischief, second-degree criminal trespass and disorderly conduct.

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