By Victoria Koch
My heart feels deeply broken by the hatred and deep cruelty — especially concerning our asylum seekers, migrants and immigrants — and the vindictiveness of our current administration.
I know the strategy is to create chaos and overwhelm and have us run inside our houses and hide under our beds. I often feel powerless. What can one person do to save American democracy, to rescue the hurt, the lonely, the victims of unjust wars?
For weeks now I have been hearing Fred Rogers’ words in my head: “Won’t you be my neighbor?”
Yes, I need to begin in my neighborhood. Around the corner from me is a courageous 82-year-old neighbor who lives in a small studio apartment. Like many elders she does have her health issues, doesn’t drive, lives alone, lives on a Medicaid income. She has two wonderful daughters here in Eugene.
Her daughters, however, both work full time and aren’t always available, but neighbors do try to be there for her. Her loving dog companion, Abby, recently passed away. Abby was nearly 19 years old, was blind, couldn’t hear well and needed lots of attention. When Abby experienced a total collapse, this neighbor was alone and didn’t know what to do. She reached out to a neighbor across the street who helped her get a vet who came to her house to help Abby die peacefully.
This 82-year-old neighbor really gives me more than she might know. She loves to read and we often share books we have found in the free box across the street. Sitting on her porch or inside her small living space, she and our extroverted selves get filled up with intellectual stimuli and heartfelt discussions about our present and often past life experiences.
Living alone, I often have leftovers from the meals I cook. I love to share portions with another neighbor, who lives in a nearby tiny house. I honestly just love hanging out with her for her company, wisdom and humor. As a true homeless activist, she inspires me, and I often see how much more I need to learn about becoming a compassionate activist.
I have found neighbors who have rescued me from technology issues or helped when clearing my steps from ice and snow, and even filled me up with hope when I felt down and sad or just plain lonely.
What does it mean to be a good neighbor? What random acts of kindness can neighbors do? I try to pick up an extra Eugene Weekly for my stay-at-home neighbor. Recently, a young woman wanted to borrow my water hose to squirt her dog on one of our hot days. While she was spraying her dog, I ran inside my house to bring her dog a dog biscuit. Long ago, I got rid of all my front yard grass and have tried to create a raised bed and parking-strip garden of flowers and vegetables for the whole neighborhood to enjoy!
As a homeowner, I know house upkeep is hard to do. I try to hire self-employed helpers rather than those from larger agencies. I see my ideal neighborhood being one where tools and skills are shared so we can help each other with our projects. And I know I truly need to compassionately listen to people and not try to become a problem solver!
Finally, let’s not forget our asylum seekers and immigrant neighbors who especially need our loving understanding of why they have come to our country. We once believed in the motto: “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to be free.”
Several years ago I became an Oregon Community Asylum Network sponsor for Luisa (not her real name) from El Salvador. I have written several EW Local and Vocal essays about our experiences together. Luisa walked through several countries to come into the U.S. legally. She was seeking safety from several harsh and brutal experiences. And she was seeking to find a job to be able to create a home here in Oregon while also sending money home to her Salvadoran family.
With the help of Lane Community College’s English as a second language classes, she has become fluent in English and currently has a job with benefits where she works more than full-time and pays taxes. I have learned a tremendous amount from all the asylum seekers I have been privileged to know. These immigrants are hardworking, strong and loving neighbors. We need them!
So what can each and every one of us do to combat the inhumane cruelty, blatant hate and discrimination we are currently experiencing in our country?
It sounds so simple to say we all need to be more compassionate and kind, but yes, we all do need each and every day to find ways in our states, in our counties and cities and neighborhoods to be loving and kind. I try to be appreciative of my grocery checkers, sales clerks, bank tellers and street maintenance workers.
I live right off West 11th where it and several side streets are being radically torn up and repaired. One day I came in contact with a maintenance worker and thanked him for what he was doing to preserve our streets. He truly beamed at my words.
Just treating everyone as a human being who is working for all of us is really simple to do. If I see a neighbor in need, I want to be giving. If I find a stray animal I try to contact Greenhill Humane Society. I want to push our City Council for more low-income housing, job and drug programs to help the homeless. If each of us here in our fair city just did a little for our environment, and did a little for our friends and neighbors, it would add up to a lot. Won’t you try being a good neighbor?