• Welcome to our annual Satire Issue where we crack ourselves up and sometimes scare readers. No, we are not rebranding as “eug.” Funny (and true) story about that — buy us a beer and maybe someday we will tell you whose bright idea that was!
• Not satire, but should be. Anyone else get themselves a Signal app just in case the Trump White House wants to include you on a text thread involving issues of national security? No? Just us?
• In news we didn’t fit into print: Head to EugeneWeekly.com to read Mirandah Davis-Powell’s coverage of the recent Rep. Val Hoyle town hall — Hoyle said of the current turn of affairs: “This is different than anything we’ve been through in the history of this country.” Also read Emma J Nelson’s update of the end (or new beginning) of the decade-long Juliana v. United States landmark constitutional climate lawsuit, whose namesake was born and raised in the Eugene-area, and Mason Falor on Oregon Coast Humane Society’s impending acquisition of a vet clinic.
• White Bird Clinic announced that starting April 7 it is temporarily reducing its CAHOOTS Mobile Crisis Response in Eugene to one shift per week. CAHOOTS in Springfield will still operate 11 am to 11 pm, seven days a week. White Bird’s Crisis Hotline will be staffed 8 am to 8 pm, Monday through Friday. According to an open letter from CAHOOTS & HOOTS Workers Union to White Bird, all but seven CAHOOTS workers are being laid off. Union rep Chelsea Swift says CAHOOTS providers “do not know” when the one Eugene shift per week falls, and that White Bird “wants that to be up to the workers left at the program,” but “that group is not yet finalized.” Amée Markwardt, White Bird’s interim executive director, says that its administration will “figure out this week” when the one shift will be, and that while only seven workers will be retained as full time, “most other staff have the opportunity to stay on the relief pool and stay employed in that avenue.” Read more at EugeneWeekly.com.
• City Club of Eugene hosts writer, hiker and historian William L. Sullivan noon, Friday, March 28, at WOW Hall. Sullivan, who also writes the Weekly’s popular hiking column, will explain why he believes Oregon journalism has changed but was “more divisive in the past,” and “the one thing that never seems to change is people’s need for news.” His late father was the editor of the (Salem) Statesman-Journal. More at CityClubOfEugene.org, and listen Monday nights at 7 pm on KLCC.