For Dena Zehava, what began seven years ago as a way to show her then pre-teen boys the importance of volunteering has blossomed into an unexpected and close friendship — with someone more than twice her age.
Zehava, 47, calls Lucille Armitage — whom she first met while she and her sons were helping out with social activities at Fox Hollow Residential Community — “my best girl.”
Armitage, who recently turned 102 years old — and whose husband’s family donated the land along the McKenzie River for what became Armitage Park in 1953 — shares a similar affection for Zehava.
“It’s a beautiful friendship,” says Armitage. “It’s something for both of us.”
Their relationship, they agree, is special. According to research out of Stanford University, strong friendships have the power to boost health, well-being and longevity by up to 50 percent. Intergenerational relationships are especially powerful, yielding many health benefits, studies from Harvard show.
Zehava grew up in San Francisco, where her parents encouraged her to volunteer at a very young age. She wanted her sons to have the same experience. “We had also just lost my last surviving grandparents — both Holocaust survivors who my boys and I had a beautiful relationship with — so it felt especially important to keep that connection with elders,” Zehava said.
She and her sons lived within walking distance and visited Fox Hollow every Thursday for two hours, playing Wii bowling with residents in the community room and later helping out on field trips. Over the years, they became close with many of the residents — some of whom have since passed away and others who have more recently moved there.
As Zehava’s sons grew up and their schedules filled, their involvement at the retirement community became more limited. But Zehava found that she really enjoyed connecting with the residents and continued to visit Fox Hollow weekly.
She noticed that Armitage, who was in her mid-90s at the time, wasn’t always feeling up to participating in the activities being offered, giving the two of them time to really connect and get to know each other better.
“At first I would stop by to sit and chat while also trying to make things in her apartment easier,” Zehava says. “I’d quickly get swept up in our conversations about life. Lou’s memory is incredible, and I love hearing her stories — what Eugene was like a century ago, how she met her husband, the days of living in chicken coops that had been converted into apartments, old Ford coupes, ice and milk delivery, and so much more. Her stories are windows into a world that feels so far away but comes alive when she shares it.”
Armitage says she appreciates how easy Zehava is to talk to. “We are able to talk about everything,” she says.
These days, Zehava visits Armitage twice a week, taking her on walks around the grounds, heading off-site for coffee at Caffé Pacori or to pick up supplies at the store, going out to lunch and accompanying her on medical appointments. Many days, they spend hours in conversation. Each time they see each other, they take a selfie. Zehava says she has collected hundreds of photos of them together.
Zehava says she finds herself really focusing on Armitage during her visits, helping her feel calm and present.
“It’s been one of the greatest gifts of our lives,” Zehava says. “What began as a way to teach my boys about volunteering has ended up in something so much deeper — a true friendship.”