We could be electing a feminist president, a champion for women — totally awesome! But we’d better brace ourselves. With Hillary Clinton as the presumptive Democratic candidate, we’re barreling into an 18-month spin cycle of hateful hype. 

I’m not talking about our reasonable objections to her stance on climate, fracking, GMOs, Wall Street, foreign policy and real stuff like that. Of course we should be challenging her and pushing her toward greener and more peaceful policies. 

But there’s a boatload of incoming BS, too. The pundits and anti-Hillary commentators of all stripes will unleash a barrage of baloney they’d never heap on a man. 

Mud will be flung. They’ll pick on every irrelevant thing from forgiving her husband’s peccadillos to her pantsuits. (Question: Why are men’s pantsuits just called suits?)

We’re in for a torrent of sexist stereotypes, misogynist claptrap and general nonsense. The patriarchy does not like uppity women asserting their rightful place in leadership. They’ll kick and scream like tantruming toddlers and never admit that they simply can’t stand anyone messing with their myth that men are superior. Expect it to get hellishly harsh.

While we suffer the slings and arrows of the 24-hour news cycle, we might as well entertain ourselves. I propose we devise bingo cards, fill them with all the trending buzzwords and slurs, and play along. Take a sheet of paper (recycled is good, reused is better) and lay out a grid. Fill in five words of familiar drivel under each of the B-I-N-G-O columns and get cracking. While the male supremacists work their panties into a wad, we’ll be having fun making and marking our special Hillary bingo cards. 

Ready to play?

You can pick your own favorite fodder for Hillary-bashing. Here’s mine.

Under B I’m listing: bitch, bossy, battleaxe, ballbreaker and any mention of her body (breasts, boobs, butt, belly or bulging thighs).

For I, I’m putting: It Takes a Village (her brilliant book on global responsibility for the well-being of children, roundly criticized by foes), idiot (insulting pun as a tagline on aforementioned book title), imperious (aka uppity), irritable (hormonal) and intern (Lewinsky).

My Ns are: naïve, nag, neckline (or anything about her clothing), nitwit (PJ O’Rourke’s word for her in his criticism of It Takes a Village) and in the center of my card a FREE space (because we deserve one).

For G, I have: girlie (please!), girth (or anything about her size or shape), grandma (granny, geezer or any ageist insult), grouch (also grumble, gruff, grump and grouse, or anything condemning her demeanor for being less than “ladylike”) and all gynophobia (extreme irrational fear of women).

And lastly, in the O column: overbearing, overambitious, obese, old and anything critiquing her outfits. 

Sound fun? Play alone or party with pals. Whenever you catch another talking head shamelessly dissing our champion with a nasty word that’s on your bingo card, don’t just sit there seething — it depletes your chi and leads to ulcers. Instead, proudly pick up your ink dauber and mark off that item with smug satisfaction, knowing you’re that much closer to hollering BINGO! Oh, and also to witnessing the election of our first woman president. Pretty cool.

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