Can’t Touch This

Magic Men Live in Eugene

I spent a half hour of my life watching YouTube videos of nearly naked men wiggling and worming around on stages illuminated by flashy lights — for research purposes, of course. Magic Men Live is coming to town and there’s something hypnotic about the performers’ abdominal capabilities.

Magic Men Live is a simulation of the 2012 Steven Soderbergh film Magic Mike but omits plot development and Channing Tatum. Each set of dancers in the performance is dressed according to a theme, so you can expect impractical firefighter uniforms and cowboy hats galore.

The show caters to women’s sexual desires in a safe and fun environment. I sense a hint of stereotypical gender norms in the air, but the point is clear: These boys are making an effort to press historically un-pressed buttons by supporting the empowerment of women’s sexuality. You go, Glen Coco.

For most audience members, the premise of going to Magic Men Live seems to be a “girls’ night out” type of soiree, and the general age ranges from squealing college kids to howling elders.

As far as the dancers are concerned, however, there is less diversity. Sure, they’re really pretty people, but most have an identical body type (muscular as fuck), age (timeless youth), make and model (buff white dudes around 5’ 11”).

If that’s your type of flesh bag, have at it. The men are professional dancers who perform to please. Also, each guy has an adorable name, so if puns get you going you’re in luck with titles such as “The Host With the Most” or “The Gun Show.”

Magic Men Live perform 8 pm Thursday, Sept. 15, at the McDonald Theatre; $25-$100, tickets at or 800-992-8499.