I’ve had it with the Lamestreamedia’s always besmalling are President, making fun of his claim that him and himself alone kept the skies safe during the Pelosi-Schumer-Warren-Acosta-O’Rourke shut-down (unpublicized fact: according to Blightbrat, he visited several major “airports” during peak hours and personally took over the landing towers to show “how it should be done.” You won’t read about that in the Bezosamazonwashingtonpost!).
He is the most humblest person on Earth — note that he doesn’t not call himself a super-genius, which he certainly is — facts don’t lie (unless their on the Lamestreamedia!). Note that he didn’t not say that he is the most stable person ever, which he certainly is, or else why would he even have to say that! (Ask yourself that whydontcha, libtards!)
Note that he didn’t take no credit for the fact that there was no volcano deaths in the “Lower 47” in 2018 — and yet there was none! Note that there was no deaths due to Bigfoot attacks in the U.S. — and yet there was none! Note the absence of astroid-related deaths anywhere in the U.S. due to his digilence as CiC of Space Command — and yet there was none! All done on his watch! No deaths! By none of them dangerous things!
They’re are hunderds of other examples of are Beloved Leader being on watch 24/7/52 keeping his people safe, and yet do you ever hear about them on Fake News? NO!
Trump — definitely NOT you’re crazy racist uncle!
Jamie Selko
Eugene
A Note From the Publisher
Dear Readers,
The last two years have been some of the hardest in Eugene Weekly’s 43 years. There were moments when keeping the paper alive felt uncertain. And yet, here we are — still publishing, still investigating, still showing up every week.
That’s because of you!
Not just because of financial support (though that matters enormously), but because of the emails, notes, conversations, encouragement and ideas you shared along the way. You reminded us why this paper exists and who it’s for.
Listening to readers has always been at the heart of Eugene Weekly. This year, that meant launching our popular weekly Activist Alert column, after many of you told us there was no single, reliable place to find information about rallies, meetings and ways to get involved. You asked. We responded.
We’ve also continued to deepen the coverage that sets Eugene Weekly apart, including our in-depth reporting on local real estate development through Bricks & Mortar — digging into what’s being built, who’s behind it and how those decisions shape our community.
And, of course, we’ve continued to bring you the stories and features many of you depend on: investigations and local government reporting, arts and culture coverage, sudoku and crossword puzzles, Savage Love, and our extensive community events calendar. We feature award-winning stories by University of Oregon student reporters getting real world journalism experience. All free. In print and online.
None of this happens by accident. It happens because readers step up and say: this matters.
As we head into a new year, please consider supporting Eugene Weekly if you’re able. Every dollar helps keep us digging, questioning, celebrating — and yes, occasionally annoying exactly the right people. We consider that a public service.
Thank you for standing with us!
Publisher
Eugene Weekly
P.S. If you’d like to talk about supporting EW, I’d love to hear from you!
jody@eugeneweekly.com
(541) 484-0519
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