I’ve had it with my desk job. Struggling to manage an unmanageable workload stresses me out, devours my creative juices and, gosh darn it, saps my mojo. I want simpler employment. I want to be a flagger.
That is, a Traffic Control Flagger. You have to be specific. A friend more street savvy than I informed me that flagging also means flashing a colored hanky out your back pocket to advertise your sexual proclivities — a whole intricate system of color coding by particular fetish. Who knew? Not too likely there’s a hanky code for my vest-wearing, traffic directing obsession. If it turns out there is, I’ll be a flagger flagger.
Flagging isn’t one of those heavily promoted careers. My inspiration came last spring when I volunteered at a recycling round-up, was given a neon green vest and assigned to direct traffic. You know lesbians and vests — I was hooked.
Now I want to wear a safety vest all day. I’d happily leave behind my current job’s requisite multi-tasking to join the cadre of safety-booted, hard-hatted, two-way shoulder-mounted radio users working in the great outdoors along Oregon’s roadways with the singular task of rotating a sign from SLOW to STOP.
I could do that. I’ve noticed lots of other large women of a certain age directing traffic around work zones and construction sites. They stand like goddesses, so confident holding their big signs along highways, city streets and, as luck would have it, in front of my house.
One summer day I was out watering my blueberries while a couple of neon vested Road Goddesses directed vehicles around the jackhammering work crew. A Levi-clad buff brunette stood just beyond my driveway. During a traffic lull I called out to her, “How do you like your job?”
“Oh, I love it.” She beamed.
“Are you treated OK?”
“The guys on the crew are nice and very respectful,” she said. “Plus I get my choice of job sites.” She paused a moment, made sure no cars were coming and then added, “I feel so powerful.”
I was in awe. I tried to imagine feeling powerful at work. “I guess choosing your assignments would do that,” I said, re-aiming my water-wand into the blueberry patch.
“No, I feel powerful because I can stop traffic!”
A string of cars approached just then. Goddess Flagger kicked into action, rotated her paddle to STOP, raised her arm and gave the universal open palm signal. The motorists all complied.
Oh, how I’d love a job like that. I want the brain freedom to stand by the side of the road with nothing to do but control the traffic. Put me outdoors in a brilliant lime-green vest striped in that snazzy orange reflective tape, with hours on end of singular focus — oh, yeah. Out of the office and into the streets. My mojo’s coming back just thinking about it.
Stay tuned for the next installment of award-winning writer Sally Sheklow’s saga as she pursues her dream of becoming a certified flagger.
A Note From the Publisher
Dear Readers,
The last two years have been some of the hardest in Eugene Weekly’s 43 years. There were moments when keeping the paper alive felt uncertain. And yet, here we are — still publishing, still investigating, still showing up every week.
That’s because of you!
Not just because of financial support (though that matters enormously), but because of the emails, notes, conversations, encouragement and ideas you shared along the way. You reminded us why this paper exists and who it’s for.
Listening to readers has always been at the heart of Eugene Weekly. This year, that meant launching our popular weekly Activist Alert column, after many of you told us there was no single, reliable place to find information about rallies, meetings and ways to get involved. You asked. We responded.
We’ve also continued to deepen the coverage that sets Eugene Weekly apart, including our in-depth reporting on local real estate development through Bricks & Mortar — digging into what’s being built, who’s behind it and how those decisions shape our community.
And, of course, we’ve continued to bring you the stories and features many of you depend on: investigations and local government reporting, arts and culture coverage, sudoku and crossword puzzles, Savage Love, and our extensive community events calendar. We feature award-winning stories by University of Oregon student reporters getting real world journalism experience. All free. In print and online.
None of this happens by accident. It happens because readers step up and say: this matters.
As we head into a new year, please consider supporting Eugene Weekly if you’re able. Every dollar helps keep us digging, questioning, celebrating — and yes, occasionally annoying exactly the right people. We consider that a public service.
Thank you for standing with us!
Publisher
Eugene Weekly
P.S. If you’d like to talk about supporting EW, I’d love to hear from you!
jody@eugeneweekly.com
(541) 484-0519