If you love Donald Trump, you can suck it.
Well, certainly you can quit reading this review (though I’m not sure why you even picked up this paper), and if you love him, please don’t buy a ticket to see the Kinsey Sicks’ Things You Shouldn’t Say at Oregon Contemporary Theatre.
Everyone else: This is the funniest show you will see all season.
I recently caught up with the Sicks (Winnie, Trixie, Rachel and Trampolina), aka Nathan Marken, Ben Schatz, Jeff Manabat and Spencer Brown. In case it’s not obvs, we’re all BFFs.
Fucking fuck, what a fucking year, amirite?
Rachel: We usually say, leave the obscenity to us!
Trampolina: I think it’s best to respond as you already so eloquently put it. But then there’s only three more years to go — and a second term!
What’s worse: Witch hunts, McCarthyism or now? Compare and contrast this moment to another, like, say, the bubonic plague, the Inquisition or the 1980s.
Trampolina: I hear Jnco® jeans from the 1990s are making a comeback and that could be a sign of the end of times.
Rachel: Your historical analysis is truly cogent (if one is taking hallucinogenic drugs). I’d say the best analogy would be “witch hunts.” With the advantage that now you don’t get burned at the stake after seeing if you’d drown when thrown in an icy river. On the other hand, we now have Twitter, so it’s kind of a wash.
Who would play your characters in a biopic about your characters?
Trampolina: Somebody super sophistipated and intellesticle — probably Tara Reid, as long as she’s not busy working on another Sharknado.
Trixie: Knowing Hollywood’s clear track record with casting Asians and Asian-Americans in big movie roles, it will likely be Scarlett Johansson.
Rachel: Definitely a combination of Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman. I recognize that they are no longer together, but then, neither am I.
Have you seen Thor: Ragnarok, and did you just love it?
Trixie: Yes, of course I loved it! I thoroughly enjoyed the joyful, diverse and colorful ride, and am absolutely thrilled with the casting of Cate Blanchett as Hela, the movie’s villainous, cocksure-strutting and exquisitely horned drag queen.
Tell me about the Edinburgh Fringe! How did you get your audience’s butts in seats, day after day? And do you all have color-coordinated woolen tweed outfits now?
Winnie: The Scots were ever so lovely to us. The great people of Eugene will also love, adore and rave about this show.
Trixie: We got those butts through the strategic use of sex, money and power. Oh wait, we’re not talking about the Alabama Senate race? So sorry! As for the Fringe, we did it the old fashioned way: glowing reviews, excellent press, incredible word-of-mouth, exuberant public appearances and a dynamite show.
The Scots absolutely loved us, and we now know that bad taste and discretionary income is a fabulous combination even across the Atlantic. And, of course, we do have color-coordinated outfits, which you will admire from your seat (or in my hotel room if you ask kindly, along with a credit card, Social Security number and mother’s maiden name) when you see us live in Eugene!
The Kinsey Sicks perform 7:30 pm Thursday through Saturday, Nov. 30-Dec. 2, with an additional 2 pm matinee Saturday; $25-38, tickets available at octheatre.org or at the box office.