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Satire

PERS Death Squads

Balancing Oregon’s state budget with a pandemic and extreme prejudice

Satire 12 months ago

In a desperate effort to get Oregon’s Public Employees Retirement System financial crisis under control, state officials have turned to murder, Eugene Weekly found in … Continue reading →

Just Blaze It

The silver tower outside of Hayward will bring together Eugene’s favorite pastimes: track and field — and weed

Satire 12 months ago

The Olympic torch lighting signifies the start of the games, but when track and field events are underway for the World Athletics Championships this summer … Continue reading →

Brick by Brick

Eugene and Springfield unveil new city districts to attract young people looking for housing

Satire 12 months ago

Eugene has the Whit, full of funky businesses and beer, and the city has the Market District, home to Fifth Street Public Market. But Eugene … Continue reading →

No City Hall Saves Eugene

Congress’ investigation into the Jan. 6 insurrection revealed a plot to invade Eugene’s City Hall to overturn local votes for Biden.

Satire 12 months ago

On Jan. 6, 2021, many Americans were glued to their screens, watching thousands of people attempt an insurrection at the U.S. Capitol as Congress certified … Continue reading →

Talking the Walk

 A new city-county committee will have weekly chats about community support for local businesses, supervised by another committee, which will also be supervised 

Satire 2 years ago

The city of Eugene and Lane County have launched a committee dedicated to talking about supporting small businesses during the COVID-19 pandemic. A separate oversight … Continue reading →

Letters to the Editor – 04/01

LettersSatire 2 years ago

VACCINE PLAGUE  Gaia sent the plague of COVID-19 to cleanse the Earth of too much technology. Those of you who submit to Big Pharma and … Continue reading →

Smell-O-Vision to Save UO Sports

Without its fans and their money, the megalithic UO sports machine is a bust in COVID-19

Satire 2 years ago

When the tragic realities of the COVID-19 pandemic became clear, the powers that be at the University of Oregon’s Phil and Penny Knight Campus for … Continue reading →

Eugene Without a City Hall is Declared ‘Homeless’ by Federal Government

City leaders say new TAC report is the golden ticket for getting Eugene housed

Satire 2 years ago

After six years couch surfing in different local government buildings, Eugene lost its squatters rights and is now officially homeless. The declaration came in a … Continue reading →

Senate Bill Cancels Eugene Weekly 

Sen. Ron Wyden loses bet in one-on-one basketball game, forced to ‘cancel’ EW

Satire 2 years ago

Deep in the bowels of the recently passed American Rescue Plan is a provision that has officially canceled Eugene Weekly. In a phone call with … Continue reading →

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