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The Satire Issue Archive

Federal Building Window ‘Just Did That’

Leaked FBI documents show that the highly debated window at the downtown Eugene Federal Building broke itself

Satire 5 months ago

A leaked internal FBI memo reveals that a window broken during the Jan. 30 anti-ICE protest that the Eugene Police Department declared a riot, “just … Continue reading →

Eugene’s Surge in Violet Protests

The number of violet protests in Eugene continues to grow

Satire 5 months ago

While demonstrations at the beginning of the year were initially uneventful, a Jan. 30 protest with hundreds of people took a turn for the worse … Continue reading →

Failed Uprising

Oakridge communist revolutionary movement fails due to debates over what is praxis

Satire 5 months ago

Leader of the Oakridge Revolutionary Workers’ Party, comrade Eleanor Bridges, says the party has lost the majority of its political base after a devastating public … Continue reading →

Trumpstone

Donald Trump moves to Eugene, where he bought the Crapstone complex and plans to take over the University of Oregon Athletic Department

Satire 2 years ago

Faced with hundreds of millions of dollars in civil penalties and the collapse of his real estate empire, former president Donald Trump is moving his … Continue reading →

April 1 News briefs

Satire 2 years ago

CAMPUS NEWS  UO on Drugs and Alcohol The school seeks to raise awareness among faculty about drinking on campus By Bentley Freeman Recent news stories … Continue reading →

Oregon Criminalizes Everything

Gov. Tina Kotek signs a bill into law that criminalizes everything in Oregon; freed up funds may be given to law enforcement.

Satire 2 years ago

After House Bill 4002, a bill that recriminalized the possession of small amounts of illicit substances, passed in the Senate on March 1, Oregon lawmakers … Continue reading →

From Frog to Woke Eugene in Letters 

Satire 2 years ago

FROG FOR MAYOR I recently attended the City Club of Eugene meeting featuring the current mayoral candidates. They were interesting, but none of them has … Continue reading →

Eugene Hops on the e-Train

A revolutionary revision to the city’s transportation plan will put us on the map, officials say

Satire 2 years ago

Despite fierce criticism from downtown drivers whose commutes have been disrupted by the city’s downtown bike-lane project, city planners have expanded the municipal transportation program … Continue reading →

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