ICE Spice
Gavin Newsom to become New Border Czar, forms ‘Brat ICE’
California Gov. Gavin Newsom was just appointed as the newest border czar and says in an interview with Eugene Weekly that he will be abolishing … Continue reading
Satire: Page 2
100,000 Year People’s War
Portland maoists declare autonomous zone in Powell’s Books
What seemed like a regular meeting of Marxist-Leninist-Maoists at Powell’s Books in Portland, Oregon turned into a full-blown occupation after the group of 50 communists … Continue reading
I’m Not Done Yet
Joe Biden tells Eugene Weekly he’s running for office again
In an exclusive interview with Eugene Weekly, former President Joe Biden declared he will be running for office once again despite being 83 years old. … Continue reading
Letters to the Editor
Posted 2025-04-01 But What About the Kittens? Lately the news has been dominated by fearmongering about all the attacks Donald Trump is supposedly making on … Continue reading
UO Nixes Duck Coach Pay Bump
Board votes unanimously to spend the money instead on 20 percent pay raises for entire academic faculty
Posted 2025-04-01 At an unannounced emergency session held just before midnight Wednesday, April 1, the University of Oregon Board of Trustees voted unanimously to claw … Continue reading
Trump announces plan to annex Oregon
Construction on Trump Tower Eugene could start next year
Posted 2025-04-01 President Donald Trump announced his plan this week to annex Oregon, telling reporters at a press conference delivered from the front seat of … Continue reading
Eugene’s Largest Polycule Breaks Up
The local non-monogamy scene vows to rebuild
Posted 2025-04-01 In an announcement devastating to local polyamorists and non-monogamists, the largest polycule in Eugene has announced it’s no longer a thing. Polycule leader … Continue reading
City-County Drag Battle
Eugene pushes back on the Lane County Commission’s drag ban
Posted 2025-04-01 After the Lane County Commission voted 3-0 on April 1 to ban drag shows in Eugene, Eugene city councilors pushed back — pointing out … Continue reading
Eugene Introduces ‘Speed Hump Studios’ Pilot Program
New initiative reclassifies asphalt mounds as “micro-dwellings” to simultaneously address student housing concerns and traffic calming
Posted 2025-04-01 Amid skyrocketing housing costs and perpetual budget constraints, Eugene urban planners unveiled an innovative solution designating the city’s extensive network of speed humps … Continue reading
Mapping for MAGA
Lane County Commission votes to rename the Willamette Valley
Posted 2025-04-01 After a contentious two-hour discussion during an unannounced meeting on Wednesday, the Lane County Board of County Commissioners voted 3-2 to rename the … Continue reading